Miscarriage

Bleeding and cramps like a typical period. It’s done. This pregnancy is on its way out.

I wish I could say I’m surprised. I always knew it was coming. I couldn’t imagine myself staying pregnant. It didn’t seem real. Once again, it was just a glimpse of what I wanted before it all got taken away.

Pregnancy isn’t a wonderful thing for me any more. It’s a constant battle with my body to force it to support a new life. That’s what it’ll be from now on.

I’m keeping my doctor’s appointment on Thursday. I’ll discuss PCOS and RH- testing, and anything else she thinks we should test. I’ll take some drugs. We’ll try again. But if this keeps happening, we’re going to adopt. Like we had always planned on. Like I should have all along. I thought getting pregnant would be easier and cheaper. I never thought I’d be going through this. Two miscarriages in nine months.

I don’t know how much more sorrow I can take in this lifetime.

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5 thoughts on “Miscarriage

  1. You are strong. Even when things seem dark, know that you are stronger than you think you are. I have learned so much from you, your posts have given me a new perspective, they have saved me from myself somedays. Now is your time to be sad but know you are loved by many and that we are here for you as you have been here for us.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear. You are in my thoughts and I hope with you for a positive outcome, whichever way that presents itself. I just started reading your blog but I see your strength to get through this.

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