I didn’t realize the date when I posted last night, so I’m making up for it now.
I’ve had this blog for two years. TWO. YEARS.
I’ve never stuck with a blog that long. Heck, other than my husband, I’ve hardly stuck with ANYTHING that long. I’m bad at committing to projects, bad at following through, bad at putting effort into things. I have so many unfinished crochet and cross-stitch projects, it’s not even funny. I still have blogs that I made more than two years ago, but I haven’t updated them in ages. I start and discard blogs.
But this one. This one I’ve stuck with. I’ve posted almost 140 times. Obviously, I’ve been a lot more prolific since this pregnancy, but I’ve been fairly regular with updates for two whole years. I think it’s mainly because this is the most important thing, to me, that I’ve ever blogged about. I blogged about my wedding, but that was something that happened and ended. Yes, I still have my marriage, but it’s not something I need to blog about. We’re happy. There’s not much else to say. 😉
But my journey, OUR journey, to parenthood has been ongoing, and will continue to be. I plan to keep blogging about parenting. Hopefully I’ll find the time, because in addition to sharing my experiences with family, friends, and strangers, I also feel like this is a time capsule for my daughter. I plan on getting a printed version of this blog up through her birth story, then perhaps once a year after that. When I think she’s mature enough, I’ll let her read them. I’m sure the negative things (because, as you all know, I don’t hold back) might be difficult for her, so it probably won’t happen for a while.
The point of this blog has been to be an honest, raw look into my experiences TTC and being pregnant, my losses and triumphs, my joys and sadnesses. It’s amazing to look back and see how far I’ve come, in maturity and experience.
My first BFN was May 24, 2012. My first BFP was August 12, 2012. I miscarried at 5 weeks on August 22, 2012. My next BFP was January 4, 2013. I then miscarried at 5 weeks 2 days on January 13, 2013. I had tests done. I was put on medication for hypothyroid and told I’d need progesterone when we started TTC again. We took a break. I contemplated adoption. I got lazy and didn’t track my cycles, and found out I was accidentally pregnant on October 15, 2013. I was immediately started on progesterone cream. I stayed pregnant this time. I’m due June 25, 2014.
I still can’t believe it.
I know I’m lucky. Getting pregnant was never my problem. I miscarried early and without complications. Still, it sucked. Those losses will always be with me. They ruined my chances of a happy, carefree pregnancy. Each subsequent pregnancy was wrought with anxiety and fear. It’s still there. I’m still terrified to lose her, more than ever before, because I’m so close. I’ve seen her. I’ve felt her through my belly. I’ve talked to her, sung to her, listened to her heartbeat. She’s a part of me.
So here we are. Two years into the journey, and about a month and a half away from motherhood. Thank you all for being with me, and I hope you continue to follow my tale.
(4 weeks with my first pregnancy)